A photoblog dedicated to the fact that Ronald Reagan — and only Ronald Reagan — can solve any/all of our problems. It is well known that Ronald Reagan is a time traveler who once won a drinking contest versus Thor and Zeus and bedded Aphrodite and Helen of Troy— at the same time. He lives among us still, selectively solving problems. If shit is fucked up anywhere in the world, he knows about it and can solve it. If he’s not solving it, it’s because the solution is still trickling down. Be patient! This page is a tribute to American’s greatest undead deity. Please save us Reagan! var sc_project=6551109; var sc_invisible=0; var sc_security="155e7940"; var _gaq = _gaq || []; _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-7473084-6']); _gaq.push(['_trackPageview']); (function() { var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true; ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s); })(); Tumblr (3.0; @reaganboner)http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lfnx9vY3on1qgsdefo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Reagan gonna make you scream!</p>http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2952231197http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2952231197Wed, 26 Jan 2011 22:49:00 -0500<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lfkccmAeM31qgsdefo1_400.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Reagan stole The Tonight Show back from Conan because Reagan hates gingers.</p>http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2920748674http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2920748674Tue, 25 Jan 2011 00:24:22 -0500<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lfeav2kY0U1qgsdefo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Reagan can out-sad your emo band.</p>http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2862863227http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2862863227Fri, 21 Jan 2011 18:06:38 -0500<p><img src="http://i.imgur.com/BeNIE.png" width="774" height="180"/></p>http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2857321376http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2857321376Fri, 21 Jan 2011 09:45:23 -0500<p>Unknown. In 2012, Reagan plans on traveling the solar system across the Asteroid Belt with a fire-hot needle and several tons of Clearasil to finally vanquish Jupiter’s Great Red Spot. Reagan doesn’t appreciate seeing large, Commie-Red masses on the map of <em>any</em> planet. We’re sure he’ll save Earth if nothing more exciting pops up.</p>http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2853524290http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2853524290Fri, 21 Jan 2011 00:46:00 -0500<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lfcpxem5hd1qgsdefo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Reagan steals rainbows from hippies and focuses them into deadly white laser beams, which he uses to hunt the most precious game of all— Russkies!</p>http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2851110478http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2851110478Thu, 20 Jan 2011 21:36:00 -0500<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lfb06vTuGb1qgsdefo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Reagan loves a good spectacle.</p>http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2837397524http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2837397524Wed, 19 Jan 2011 23:23:19 -0500<p>Al Gore did, in fact, invent the internet— in a manic effort to impress Reagan while they were hanging one weekend in Rio. Reagan was not impressed, as he already had access to all information known and unknown.</p>http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2837308129http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2837308129Wed, 19 Jan 2011 23:17:31 -0500<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lfaziychUc1qgsdefo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Reagan devours ships like Rush Limbaugh devours bottles of Vicodin.</p>http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2837169427http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2837169427Wed, 19 Jan 2011 23:08:57 -0500<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lfabj9J6iz1qgsdefo1_400.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2829486609http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2829486609Wed, 19 Jan 2011 14:30:45 -0500<p>Reagan does not drink tea because Reagan hates British people. Reagan drank coffee once and stayed up for days, frustrated, tossing large boulders from the coast of California out to sea. And, thus, from his rage, Hawaii was born.</p>http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2829461208http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2829461208Wed, 19 Jan 2011 14:28:00 -0500<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lfaag3tDIF1qgsdefo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Because Betsy Ross did it wrong.</p>http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2829233681http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2829233681Wed, 19 Jan 2011 14:07:15 -0500<p>Sarah Palin does not turn Reagan on. But that doesn’t mean Reagan would not hit that.</p>http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2828320108http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2828320108Wed, 19 Jan 2011 12:36:00 -0500<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lfa0hxMrPs1qgsdefo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Ronald Reagan also counted to infinity … twice.</p>http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2827462837http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2827462837Wed, 19 Jan 2011 11:01:58 -0500<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lf9xzvH3K91qgsdefo1_400.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Reagan paints happy little clouds, but farts angry mushroom clouds. Thankfully, Reagan only farted twice in anger— back in Japan in ‘45. Since then, he’s been kind enough to head off to desert test sites to do the deed.</p>http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2826767024http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2826767024Wed, 19 Jan 2011 09:38:00 -0500<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lf92mhabZh1qgsdefo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>reaganpwns</p>http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2821192505http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2821192505Tue, 18 Jan 2011 22:20:41 -0500<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lf8rw57Gb91qgsdefo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>FACT: Reagan ended Chinese Communism on his lunch break one day. He puts the MAN in Tienaman Square (sic).</p>http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2817568125http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2817568125Tue, 18 Jan 2011 18:28:00 -0500<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lf8rc6QHTX1qgsdefo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Reagan burned the guitar to protect the crowd from his face-melting guitar solos, which could literally melt faces <em>Raiders of the Lost Ark</em>-style, as he had learned at a gig in Boston the night before.</p>http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2817437290http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2817437290Tue, 18 Jan 2011 18:16:00 -0500<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lf77w0ndYt1qgsdefo1_400.png"/><br/><br/><p>He was the greatest!</p>http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2805547041http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2805547041Mon, 17 Jan 2011 22:19:12 -0500<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lf766kNTF41qgsdefo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2805024795http://reaganboner.tumblr.com/post/2805024795Mon, 17 Jan 2011 21:42:19 -0500